UPDATE – Today is April 1st, April Fools. Energeticcity.ca isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Enjoy the Easter Long Weekend from all of us at Energeticcity.ca
Energeticcity.ca broke onto the Fort St. John scene nearly two years ago as an online-only source of news. At the time, the Internet was expected to be a revolution to how we would communicate as a human race.
Pundits said the internet would change the world and replace television, radio and newspapers. With the world wide recession that started in late 2008, the economics of publishing content online-only have been challenged.
Research shows that during difficult economic times, people prefer to sit down with a newspaper and read about how glum the world is, instead of logging on the internet or pulling out their expensive iPhones to check what is happening in their own community.
It is with this changing reality that the owners of Energeticcity.ca are announcing that effective tomorrow, Energeticcity.ca will cease publishing online and will become a Newspaper. The new Energetic City newspaper will be published four times a day and delivered by a team of 200 full time newspaper carriers.
The federal and provincial government has made available a number of lucrative grants to entities such as Energetic City to help us through these difficult times and abandon useless technology while furthering important government priorities such as:
– Increase electricity consumption by running a printing press 24×7 in order to expedite the demand for power so that Site C can be built as soon as possible.
– Support the Forestry industry by cutting down as many trees as possible in order to restart paper mills across the province and increase stumpage fees.
– Hire as many people as possible to print and deliver the newspaper in a new economic stimulus plan modelled after Franklin Roosevelt’s "New Deal".
Energetic City News, "The only not-online newspaper to give a tinkers dam about the Peace" is currently conducting a recruiting drive to find people interested in becoming one of our 200 new Newspaper Carriers.
Former newspaper publisher and current Mayor of Fort St. John, Bruce Lantz although not unemployed, expressed interest in picking up a paper route as a part time gig in order to compensate for the freeze on council salaries imposed during these tough economic times. Lantz was turned down during the screening process because he is not tall enough and will have trouble reaching mailboxes.
We thank you for your patronage over the past as we’ve been an online-only news source, but we feel the time is right to make a transition to being a real news source.
To apply as a newspaper carrier, please send your resume to email@example.com. We thank all applicants for their interested but only those selected for an interview will be contacted.