TAYLOR, B.C. — The District of Taylor announced this morning that it will be closing the campgrounds at Peace Island Park effective immediately to turn the 109-hectare park into the Peace Region’s first licensed marijuana cultivation and dispensing facility.
In its announcement the District said that it ahead of the planned legalization of recreational cannabis this summer, it had chosen to convert the park into the grow-op and dispensary to capitalize on both tourism and tax revenue. The announcement explained that the island was chosen because of its incredibly fertile soil in the floodplain of the Peace River. Having served as the host venue for music festivals in the past was also factored in to the decision.
“Man, this is going to be soooooo dope,” said Mayor Rob Fraser in a release. “Like, we’re going to have the dankest strains of kush this side of B.C. If you thought they were good at this on the Coast, well man, you better wait and see this.”
The District explained that the park’s campground facilities, especially those with electrical hookups, are perfect for setting up hydroponic equipment and ultraviolet lights. The plans are to renovate the current park caretaker’s house to become the grow-op’s retail facility, which will also include a demonstration room complete with incense, bead curtains in lieu of doors, along with a catalogue of LP vinyl records from such artists as Steely Dan, the Grateful Dead, and Jefferson Airplane.
If all goes according to plan, the District says it anticipates having the new “Peace” Island Park open for business the same day that the federal government legalizes recreational cannabis.
If you’ve read this far and still didn’t realize today is April 1, then start at the beginning of the article and try again. Happy April Fools.